In this segment of “5 Questions”, we talk with @awryone, an ex-grifter and Twitter funny man, about zombies, life, and blowjobs:

Not Diddy: When the impending Zombie Apocalypse comes (and we both know it will), what will be your weapon of choice?

Josh: My weapon of choice will be conformity. Doesn’t make much sense to fuck with Zombies when they’re obviously winning. I’ll be the best damn nouveau zombie EVER.

Not Diddy: Remember that day? You know, the one where you get… 4000 followers? Where does that rank amongst highlights of your life? Please elaborate.

Josh: I appreciate that everyone cares more for my penis’s well-being than my wife does. She totally blew off blowing me.

Not Diddy: What are you holding in your hand right now?

Josh:  Mouse. (Not the computer kind.)

Not Diddy: You’re ridiculously funny. What inspires your jokes?

Josh: In a way, all of my jokes are very serious and I’m really very sad and lonely and my wife never blows me and LOL FUNNYTIME!

Not Diddy: What is the most annoying thing you do?

Josh: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ I could do this for hours.

—————

More @awryone here and here

Click here for more “5 Questions”