i like this.
If you need help or any know anyone that does, please call:
National Child Abuse Hotline
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
The Trevor Lifeline
National Runaway Switchboard
Veterans Crisis Line
National Domestic Violence Hotline
National Sexual Assault Hotline
|—||what a man’s shoes say about him to other shoes|
We were at the DMV. You were the Asian girl with the gay lookin’ boyfriend. I was the “creepy” guy. You were wearing black Uggs. I forgive you. You asked the DMV lady if you could get a new license. I wanted to tell you how good you smelled, but I was too shy. Good news is I overheard your home address. I will be over at 3:17 pm. Will you please ask if that’s a banana in my pocket? That’s my Asian girl fantasy. No restraining orders, k?
Or olives. Or peanut butter. Or licorice. Or getting up early. Or beer. Or reality television. Or living in cities. Or cars with inadequate cupholders.
But knock yourself out. I’m sure I like lots of stuff that you don’t. We can still be friends if you like olives, and I wouldn’t dream of trying to tell you what you should or shouldn’t like.
Unless it’s Salvador Dali. He sucks.
Saw a homeless guy sitting in a candy box, so I said, “Home SWEET home!” and we laughed and laughed and laughed. And he told me, statistically, I have $15,799 in credit card debt and live paycheck to paycheck. Soooo funny!
@brentcetera: What are you doing?
@theduty: Postin’ shit on the Internet.
@brentcetera: What kind of shit?
@theduty: Funny pictures of raccoons.
@brentcetera: I fucked a raccoon once.
@theduty: And funny pictures of Jesus.
@brentcetera: I fucked Jesus once.
@theduty: And funny pictures of Legos.
@brentcetera: I fucked a Lego once.
@theduty: Me, too.